Friday, October 07, 2016


Ruta Sepetys once said, ~Sometimes there is such beauty in awkwardness. There's love and emotion trying to express itself, but at the time, it just ends up being awkward.~ Without a doubt, it's a considerably hard enough situation indeed when it comes to the dating scene; but its even harder when you find yourself in an incredibly awkward moment or should I say moments that can most definitely be deemed utterly embarrassing. It's those moments where you can fondly look back on it now as a whole and laugh but at the time you just wanted to forget it every happened to you altogether. For it's a type of awkward embarrassment in which there may have been an attempt to smooth it over only to create an even bigger awkwardly embarrassing situation in how it first started off to be regarding a certain someone of interest. Essentially, the following two choices can be made: 1.) stop and start over. OR 2.) continue talking yourself into a much deeper metaphorical hole you're digging.

If you think about it, there is a seemingly unspoken agreement between our brain and mouth to cooperate with each other. You see, in every day life the information we've taken the time to formulate and carefully structure in our head is sent to our mouth then clearly articulated out loud. However, that's not the case as the cooperation between one's brain and mouth suddenly falls apart to where one's own mouth decides to go rogue when matters of the heart are involved. In other words, blurting out the first thing from our mouth in a very unpredictable way. Of course, in your head you'd gladly take that opportunity to use an MIB neutralizer to wipe any memory of what just happened to start over but you can't. Instead, you continue on hoping you don't do or say anything stupid again inevitably digging yourself deeper into the metaphorical hole of awkward embarrassment. I think it's safe to say we've all been in a situation where we knew what we were going to say only to find ourselves saying to him/her something so incoherently confusing it literally caused our face to cringe while standing there.

As I said before, the cooperation between our brain and mouth suddenly falls apart in the presence of a guy/girl you're genuinely interested in due to one's mouth deciding to go rogue. Thinking about it further, the unpredictably of one's mouth going rogue or as I like to refer to it sometimes as experiencing an unfortunate brain fart can put a damper on in trying to make a great first impression. Furthermore, it sets the tone to where the atmosphere can be either absolutely relaxing or uncomfortably awkward. True, being nervous plays a tremendous factor as so many thoughts are running through one's own head to the point where you end up verbally stumbling over words each of us normally say on a semi daily basis without any problems whatsoever. Personally speaking, I recall a situation involving meeting someone and I was mentally prepared to greet this woman and introduce myself. Needless to say, my brain shut down and I was so nervous standing in front of her that I got tongue tied messing up my own name. The urge to run did cross my mind as I freaked out in my head but I didn't.

Let me ask you this question to those who have experienced in the past or recently experienced a very awkward dating situation with a guy/girl, were you able to turn it around in your favor? Oftentimes, the ability to have a sarcastic sense of humor and be self deprecating can turn an awkwardly embarrassing first meeting into a memorable moment where laughter along with easy flowing conversation that's not forced is shared. Granted, it's not always necessarily the case evident by the unfortunate awkward first date horror stories that have been shared with me over the years. In any case, if a guy can genuinely make a woman laugh and smile by using that awkwardness he's feeling to their advantage there's a safe bet a truly deep appreciation will be felt putting her at ease not knowing she's possibly experiencing the same exact awkwardness as well. What it primarily comes down to is simply taking a moment beforehand to just close our eyes and take several deep breaths to calm ourselves.

In retrospect, experiencing awkwardness in the pursuit of love/true love will never not be part of the dating scene. Yet, it's how each one of us deals with and are able to learn what we've embarrassingly said or done in the past that can positively turn a regrettable memory into a hopefully unforgettable one. For the most part, we shouldn't take ourselves too seriously but at the same time be polite and respectful. In addition, trying too hard in breaking the tension will build it up more thus creating an increase in uncomfortable silence whereby both of you are in a desperate mental search for a topic to discuss in order to salvage a date deemed an already epic failure. In the end, we're always going to experience awkwardly embarrassing situations in regards to living the single that have us experiencing those unfortunate facepalm moments; but it will be well worth it my friend as they'll individually lead each one of us to eventual true happiness.

Wednesday, September 28, 2016

On My Way

Karen Salmansohn once said, ~Do not go speeding into love. Get to know who someone is, so you don't fall in love with the idea of them but the actual them. Don't confuse romance for intimacy. Romance attracts you speedily and physically. But intimacy is what connects you heart to heart, over time.~ In some aspect, when it comes to love/true love it can seem as if we're all wanting or should I say speeding towards, so to speak, a designated location within our own heart only to get pulled over. Unfortunately, each one of us can find or has found one's self being caught in the proverbial single life speed trap and ticketed for an infraction or a number of infractions in regards to the dating/potential/significant relationship scene. Essentially, you can either talk your way out of it and avoid paying the so called fine or completely accept the consequences to where it's another added life experience.

As I said before, it can seem as if we're all wanting or should I say speeding towards, so to speak, a designated location within our own heart only to get pulled over. Thinking about it further, a person can most definitely be eager in wanting to be in an established worthwhile relationship with a guy/girl who one will gladly go well past the speed limit for, in a manner speaking. For it's an adrenaline rush of a situation indeed as one floors it personally, mentally, emotionally, and maybe even physically pertaining to a certain someone of interest. In other words, making up for lost time after being constantly stopped and passed by other "motorists" who are now riding in the fast lane together with their forever best friend riding shotgun causing one to experience a mixture of emotions such as frustration, anger, and not to mention impatience.

Without a doubt, living the single life mistakes can certainly be made like being too eager/impatient in wanting to speed through obstacles hindering you on the road towards true happiness. True, its annoyingly irritating and oftentimes an embarrassing state of affairs finding ourselves suddenly noticing the all too familiar flashing lights of dread in our heart's internal rear view mirror. Of course, this leads to our thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions to be in all intense and purposes cited for being reckless knowing full well mistakes were made but drove faster despite of it. Heartbreak, frustration, anger, sadness, disappointment, resentment, utter contempt, fear, bitterness, etc. are a representation of individual citations being given on one's speeding ticket of the heart whereby giving the possibility of 2 harsh realities: 1.) you're never going to make it. 2.) you're late getting there and just missed him/her.

Let me ask this question to those who are presently driving on you're own metaphorical road in hopes of getting where you want to be within your own heart, how fast are you going? I think it's safe to say that for most of us we're on the highways/byways otherwise known as the single life simply cruising along and having fun jamming to CD's or the radio. However, for others they're fast and furiously speeding past us like a bat out of hell in order to catch up to the one that is seemingly father away each time he/she thinks they're getting closer. Let me tell you something, when you're too focused trying to reach as fast as humanly possible in what you've wanted for your own heart you end up on the side of road getting ticketed and missing out on the opportunity in noticing your scenic surroundings with hopefully your best buds/gal pals along for the ride as well.

Someone said, ~We all drive at the same speed. Just not necessarily at the same time or on the same road. Although, we are all heading in the same direction and towards the same destination.~ In retrospect, the directions to the ultimate destination that is matters of the heart can be an utterly confusing road to navigate at times. You see, it's best to calm down and not worry/panic about getting there because its absolutely futile. Hey, take that opportunity for however long it will be to get lost in order to find yourself and enjoy having fun seeing where the road leads you. He/she will be there waiting to pull you over so don't be in too big of a rush. In the end, for me personally I'm 99.9% sure there is someone waiting to finally pull me over who I'm unknowingly driving towards within the designated posted speed limit plus 10 over and all I can say to her, whoever she may be, is even though it's taking longer than anticipated I'm on my way.

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Right Kind of Wrong

Carl Hiaasen once said, ~Sometimes you're going to be faced with situations where the line isn't clear between what's right and what's wrong. Your heart will tell you to do one thing and your brain will tell you to do something different. In the end, all that's left is to look at both sides and go with your best judgment.~ If you think about it, figuring out right from wrong is part of life, especially if it pertains to matters of the heart regarding one's own thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions. For it's a tough and not to mention complicated situation indeed knowing its possibly the right decision to make but at the same time struggling within yourself to the point where the following question is asked: Is it right or wrong?

Is it right or wrong to not immediately act on one's instinctive impulse to move towards the possibility of a potentially worthwhile relationship even if it's someone who is considered to be everything you've ever imagined and then some. Thinking about it further, it's totally understandable in holding back in every sense of the word of what you want to say or do involving a certain someone of interest because of past experience teaching you to become considerably cautious when it comes to one's own heart. True, as much as you want to be in a relationship you don't want to mistakenly be in one out of feeling lonely and/or witnessing those around you finding absolute true happiness whereby that sense of hope/faith is lost.

Is it right or wrong to compartmentalize your thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions when attempting to figure out whether or not the guy/girl in question you're interested in is someone you want to get to know on a more personal basis? Without a doubt, there is a big difference between a crush and genuinely liking someone to where being able to leave out emotions altogether gives an individual the opportunity to mentally investigate within yourself of one's own intentions are truly real. In other words, think it through logically with your head instead of your heart. Granted, it's not necessarily a proven method and trust me when I say the questions aren't always answered causing one to be pushed to the brink of insanity.

Let me ask you this question to those who are experiencing a quintessential balance of sorts, is it right or wrong weighing the pros and cons when dealing/facing a dilemma of heart? I think its safe to say we've all been through or are currently going through right now weighing, in a manner of speaking, our thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions so much so the tipping point can go either way. Of course, when I say tipping point I'm referring to that one aspect/thing about him/her that would in all intense and purposes overwhelmingly tip the scales in a positive rather than a negative way. Let me tell you something, be prepared to have a continuous even balance at times causing tremendous difficulty telling/revealing to you love/true love.

In retrospect, the single life is like one big scale for individuals such as myself with our own heart placed in the middle as the proverbial arrow pointing towards a happy ending while the other points to constant wonder. Oftentimes, we think we know what's right for us but end up finding ourselves at the wrong end of utter heartbreak. What it primarily comes down to is taking your time and having the patience in knowing when the right moment presents itself whenever that will be regardless if it's right or wrong. In the end, each one of us want someone who is right for us who may be weirdly odd but compliments you in such a way that those are around you say in an amusingly surprised way the both of you are the right kind of wrong for each other.

Sunday, September 04, 2016


Socrates once said, ~The secret of change is to focus all your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.~ Without a doubt, staying focused after making an important change in life can most definitely bring new found focus in a very positive way. For it's a sobering situation indeed when an individual able to most past a blurred past and be given a whole new perspective with absolutely fresh eyes. Its those aforementioned fresh eyes in which you're able to truly see or should I say focus on people, places, and/or things than can be taken for granted after focusing on particular vices of the addictive nature. Essentially, by putting one's focus on other positive alternatives the future looks increasingly brighter each day.

If you think about it, being able to focus on your family can in a sense be the best medicine in rejuvenating one's zest for life. I think it's safe to say when you're a member of a family such as an uncle you're job description is to basically be fun loving, goofy, and crazy when playfully interacting with one's own nephews and/or nieces. For the most part, its the standard prerequisite for being the quintessential family member who is all about having fun. True, the tremendous joy they bring to your life gives you the neverending rather than the temporary buzz you experienced in the past; but the big difference is you will certainly remember those precious/special moments for a lifetime, which matters more in life in regards to becoming a whole new you.

As I said before, having fresh eyes allows you to truly see or should I say focus on people places or things, especially if those places are Comic Cons where attending, as well as dressing up in cosplay as one's favorite fictional characters fills your life with enjoyment. Granted, not too many people aren't able to understand the pure fascination or in some cases the obsession of wearing a costume practically all day at a place filled where it can quite literally bring out your inner child. However, when you do find or meet people with the same enthusiasm regarding everything from purchasing collectables like comic books or collectables to taking pictures of/with your favorite celebrities/cosplayers one's day is momentously made.

Let me ask you this question in regards to collecting comic books, what is your most favorite and possibly priceless purchase? Thinking about it further, by trading one negative addiction for a given you the opportunity to in all intense and purposes drink in all the purchases you've made after hunting/searching/bidding for them. You see, the successful purchase of one's comic collectables you've set your eyes on is considerably far more satisfying to hold and read than any alcoholic beverage to quench one's thirst don't you think? Let me tell you something, never lose that fire for comic books as it has seemingly brought out a child-like enthusiasm into your life among other things as well.

In retrospect, Brion McAuley is a very much a different man than 5 years ago and has now focused his life on the more positive things in life. Whether it's being an awesome uncle, cosplaying at Comic Cons, purchasing comics, utilizing one's skills as a graphic designer by using photoshop, etc. keep the focus strong in your life. Of course, don't forget you have new found friends to support and not to mention encourage you along the way as well. Ultimately, I say to you my friend continue to build a new life for yourself all-the-while leaving your old life behind knowing full well second chances seem to be at times a hard rarity to come by these days. In the end, I think you yourself summed up this yodaism best when I mentioned it to you with just one word...potatoes.

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Up For The Challenge

Dr. Steve Maraboli once said, ~Rise to the challenge of bring your dreams to life! Do not be discouraged by resistance; be nourished by it. Success is the experience of rising to the level of your true greatness.~ Let me ask you this question, have many of life's challenges have you been able to not only achieve, but continue to personally/professionally strive for in hopes of being able to accomplish what you've set your mind to in the present, as well as for the near future. For its a thought provoking and not to mention intriguing situation indeed in the type of person you truly are even though you may not see it in yourself.

Without a doubt, to find the challenge in regards to one's own creative side shows there isn't a limit to your imagination. In other words, what you think up in your mind turns to a potential planning stage inevitably ends up becoming a reality. What it primarily comes to mind is cosplay and showing how much of fan you are when it involves a particular television and/or movie fandom, such as Star Wars. Hey, it part of who you are and there is no denying that whatsoever. Of course, the process of thinking up who to be and then putting the costume together can at times be tediously difficult; but the quintessential payoff is absolutely worth it when you're asked to have a picture taken with you or vice versa.

As I said before, cosplay is primarily part of who you are and it's certainly rings true concerning your overall identity. True, you're a Star Wars fan due in part to being introduced by your parents to what I believe is the greatest franchise to ever be a part of or associated with for that matter. For the most part, it in all intense and purposes set the tone for daily life, especially when it involves everything from trivia, referencing quotes and/or collecting memorabilia i.e. POPS Maz Katana you've patiently waited for to finally arrive. In addition, it also includes being passionate about the love you have for Disney so much so your inner fangirl completely took over to the point where it nearly incited a public incident involving young children over a well beloved frozen character.

If you think it, every person has faced or is facing challenges in life, especially when it pertains to matters of the heart. I think it's safe to say when it comes to the dating/relationship department you've put yourself on hiatus and mainly focusing living life with a mixture of your best buds/gal pals by your side. Thinking about it further, you've mentioned in brief conversation that boredom can set in during a date signifying there is a lack of being able to be challenged. When I say challenged, I mean meeting a guy who has the innate ability to not just get your attention, but continually keep it to where genuine interest grows on your part. Let me tell you something, you'll meet that guy who will accept the challenge whoever he may be.

In retrospect, there is more than meets the eye in a non Transformers way if you take a step back and get the overall picture instead of what's on the surface pertaining to one Lauren Parisi. Granted, I don't necessarily know you on a deeply personal basis and haven't met you in person. However, within a 7 month period I can say you value friendship, you're a kickass trivia host, an adventurer when it comes to hunting Pokemon, a parent to a feline named Leia, a lover of red wine I believe or wine in general, etc. Ultimately, there is a considerably vast knowledge that has yet to be unlocked so much so that if one delves considerably deeper you'll might be surprised in what is found. In the end, you have the driving ambition along with the determination to tackle each day and be up for the challenge of whatever or whoever life brings your way.

Monday, August 01, 2016


Saor Alba once said, ~Something stirs within me when I hear the bagpipes play. They reach down deep inside my heart whether close or far away. As I stand and listen something happens deep inside. Their music flows into my soul and fills my heart with pride. But something else is happening. Something you cannot see. For heart begins to wander and longs once more to be free.~ Without a doubt, a sense of restlessness stirs within that represents the struggle between calm and chaos. For its a type of struggle where the seemingly haunting burdens of the heart, soul, and mind are clutched tightly by the claws of a beastly past, so to speak. Essentially, its the yearning to be anywhere but where you are sounds off like a faint beating drum growing increasingly louder so much so it shakes the very core of who you are.

If you think about it, every man has the heart, soul, and mind of a warrior...a Scottish warrior in this particular case. There is a fiery passion both seen and unseen where the bagpipes that quintessentially play the melodies of songs of your life are either positively up or negatively down depending on how the wind blows. Yet, it doesn't hurt raising up a pint or two or three that help blur returning memories whereby greatly numbing a beastly past full of mixed emotions swiping it's ravenous claws with absolute viciousness. Of course, like any true Scottish warrior you pick yourself up despite all the wounds suffered and continue to keep fighting in every sense of the word with hardened determination knowing there is a song being played somewhere out in the distance to the point where the call is heeded to travel far and wide.

As said before, the yearning to be anywhere but where you are sounds off like a faint beating drum growing increasingly louder so much so it shakes the very core of who are. Thinking about it further, it's that same faint sound of the beating drum growing increasingly louder shaking the very core of who you are and what has been shaking is deafening change. I think it's safe to say change is something you've been wanting for quite some time and the chance to carpe diem by seizing change personally, emotionally, mentally, and maybe even spiritually. Granted, the chance to truly exhale and be given a sense of much relief miles away from a place that holds so many memories to places that you'll be able to breathe in to where new memories are made is a change one would gladly take, whether it's merely temporary or a change for the better.

Oftentimes, despite all the painful wounds suffered a Scotsman keeps fighting in every sense of the word with hardened determination knowing there is a song being played somewhere out in the distance to the point where the call us heeded to travel far and wide. True, it's most definitely a much needed call to heed indeed in order to listen, in a manner of speaking, to new melodies and not to mention explore new destinations to where it gives one the opportunity to broaden their horizons. Horizons never before seen, as well as experiences giving new found insight as to witnessing firsthand a whole new atmosphere one has possibly only dreamed about. You see, by broadening one's own horizons you inevitably get the chance to meet in person online strangers who have now become lifelong friends, which a personal worthwhile goal that will certainly be achieved.

In retrospect, the bagpipes are playing a melody whole new set of songs for the warrior Scotsman. A song in which a man chooses to live rather than die in the metaphorical sense. The choice to live to the fullest is a choice you won't regret and don't waste any second of it. You've taken the opportunity to make what was seemingly nothing and ended up turning into something that truly has meaning. Fortunately, the opportunity to hopefully no longer be in a sense a slave to the past breaking away from the chains of what has been holding you down in some way, shape, and/or form. In the end Patrick Gilday, when that day comes to in all intense and purposes spread your wings to fly I dare say you'll have all the freedom to do whatever you want as you take the initial step forward facing a whole new world whatever it may be with unwavering courage.

Saturday, July 30, 2016


Mark Twain once said, ~20 years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow line. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade wins in your sail. Explore. Dream. Discover.~ Without a doubt, you never really think how far you've come in regards to pushing yourself mentally, especially when it involves something that was randomly created 20 years ago. For its truly an amazing and humbling thought indeed concerning the longevity of something that was practically non existent back in the day only to become a considerably source of personal knowledge and not to mention a quintessential part of one's semi-daily life. Essentially, it's considered to be a sanctuary of sorts that best represents my own version of Superman's Fortress of Solitude.

As I said before, the ever growing source of personal knowledge attained over a 20 year period storied within the sanctuary that I refer as the inner sanctum represents my own version of Superman's Fortress of Solitude. Thinking about it further, its a metaphorical place where there are countless chamber doors and behind each one of them are the individual thoughts or should I say yodaisms located inside. It's when I want to reflect back, as well as reminisce on any particular thought I in all intense and purposes stand in front a specific door, so to speak, inevitably opening a part of a possibly meaningful past at the time. A written past containing a plethora of mixed emotions that started in the very beginning with the thought of absolute uncertainty from a 19 year old kid about to graduate high school.

Oftentimes, when I've entered my online sanctuary to look back on all that I written in the past 20 years I'm not disappointed or utterly embarrassed at what's been posted because like I mentioned before it's part of my past. As a matter of fact, it's a mental timeline of how far I've come to the point where there is a possibility of reaching a point where there's nothing left to say because my mind is all tapped out. However, there's always going to something said by someone or read somewhere that will be that initial spark setting off something for me to write then posted for those who are interested to read. In any case, all the thoughts that have been accumulated whether they were good, bad, and everything in between were all coming from a place where I've taken a step back in order to keenly observe, as well as comprehend life, love, and certainly relationships in my own weirdly, unique way.

If you think about it, being able to document your thoughts in such a public forum for 20 years and counting gives a person like myself the opportunity to have people share their own personal stories involving a particular yodaism posted. I think its safe to say that for quite a number of people they deem it a place where he or she can freely visit reading their personal favorites according to a certain few I know who said they've visited it many times. Why? The answer varies but the one main reason is the simple fact that I have a way of making people think in a such a way it causes a person to want to read it over for a more clear understanding of it all. A perfect example would the yodaism "Art Of Love" comparing matters of the hear to a martial arts tournament, which if you're curious I encourage you to check it out and give it a read.

In retrospect, the inner sanctum has, is and will always be a real place that has considerable meaning when it comes to bearing my own heart, mind, and/or soul. True, it may not be well-known or in fact even popular; but word of mouth has spread about it to where it has sort of a Field Of Dreams if you build it they will come type following. Of course, it will still be online when I'm no longer living this earthly existence because after all it is the internet where nothing ever truly dies. Granted, it may even be forgotten but for a period of time it was relevant to me as it became my sounding board/soap box to express what's been weighing on my mind. In the end, every person hopes to achieve a legacy they can proudly look back on and 20 years from now I hope I still have something to put behind another chamber door because as far as I'm concerned I still have more to say.