Friday, May 04, 2018

Love Takes Hostages

Connie Brockway once said, ~The heart doesn't ask permission. It is singularly unconcerned with the qualifications of those it chooses to love. It mocks the intellect, it subjugates reason, and it holds hostage the will to survive.~ If you think about it, when it comes to matters of the heart pertaining to potential/significant relationships and/or utter heartbreak you can yourself or should I say your heart being taken hostage by your own thoughts, feelings, as well as emotions. For its a thought provoking situation indeed to experience an inner hostage situation of sorts that can last days, months, and/or even years. Of course, while going through the metaphorical hostage situation deals are trying to be made to either embrace true happiness that could very well be an absolute positive or finally let go of negative past issues that are/have been considered a threat personally, mentally, and/or emotionally.

As I said before, when it comes to matters of the heart pertaining to potential/significant relationships and/or utter heartbreak you can yourself or should I say your heart being taken hostage by your own thoughts, feelings, as well as emotions. True, the initial beginning phase of any hostage situation is considerably violent or brief depending how long it lasts to subdue the hostages. Essentially, it's while one's own heart is subdued there can be in all intense and purposes an all out assault occurring and the instant or gradual impact of it can certainly be traumatic. Thinking about it further, there's initially an inner mental/emotional mass of chaos and confusion in a hopefully non violent way happening within, in a manner of speaking, after being captured to the point where it can be considerably difficult in focusing after coming to the realization of what is going/has gone down.

Without a doubt, once the initial phase of the emotional and mental hostage situation is over then comes the negotiation phase, which is an all too familiar experience for quite a number of individuals. I think its safe to say for those living the single life there can most definitely be demands listed off, so to speak, involving our thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions towards one's own heart. The proverbial inner conflict of what you think you want and what you're most deserving of as it pertains to true happiness. In that instance, the quintessential hostage negotiator enters the picture and even though there may not be an actual hostage negotiator present you're own inner voice takes metaphorical form in trying to negotiate/mediate a deal or deals whatever they may be. Unfortunately, one's inner voice may not be able to resolve the conflict to where a resolution is unable to be made thus a standoff ensues. So, how long has your inner standoff lasted?

Let me ask this questions to those who are currently in a hostage situation regarding their own heart that has lasted for quite some time, at any point have you come to the decision with the termination phase? What do I mean? What it primary comes down to are the following 3 scenarios/options: 1.) Your thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions surrender peacefully to the reality of the situation and let the possibility of potentially falling in love run it's natural course. 2.) You're mentally and emotionally strong enough in overtaking all 3 so that you can move on from past issues by your own terms. OR 3.) You've given into the demands settled for and didn't really want because you allowed them to overwhelm you therefore killing any chance of moving on to experience a worthwhile love life. For the most part, you have those 3 scenarios/option to choose from or go with something completely different altogether and hope it works out for the best.

In retrospect, the most frustrating part of your heart being taken hostage by your own thoughts, feelings and/or emotions is the unpredictability of it all. Oftentimes, its an absolute unknown as to whether or not negotiations will turn into a dangerously volatile situation to where it should always be handled with care. However, there are times where you have no other alternative than to just bust in with guns blazing in SWAT Team fashion to truly free yourself from past issues, which is an aggressive albeit useful tactic to undertake. Granted, you're not in this alone as you have your fellow SWAT Team members of best buds/gal pals who will always head in to make the save knowing they could become collateral damage. Hey, there's always a risk but it's a risk they're willing to take. In the end, love takes hostages and when or if you find yourself in one you want to come out the entire ordeal with very much "alive" heart rather than have it end up be "dead".

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Frame Of Heart

Khano Makwarela once said, ~Sometimes broken relationships are like broken glasses. People often hurt themselves trying to put the broken pieces back together.~ Without a doubt, matters of the heart involving broken relationships is most definitely synonymous with getting glasses after it has been for quite some time or ends up getting broken. You see, when you experience both there is in a sense the inability to see clearly even though there have been attempts to try to fix it the best way you can. True, fixing what's been broken or close to being broken can sometimes help you see in the visual context. Of course, the same can be said in regards to trying to fix a relationship that has gradually lost the sense of sight mentally, as well as emotionally whereby there is an inability to see clearly in a person's or one another's heart, in a manner of speaking.

If you think about it, when you deal with broken glasses or glasses close to being broken you can find yourself taping it up as a temporary fix, which those who wear glasses such as myself have done in the past. Essentially, that's how it can be at times as a guy/girl/couple tries for the previously mentioned temporary fix deemed absolutely easy for his/her/their relationship only end up re-taping the part/parts again because the problem wasn't truly dealt with or should I say discussed in depth. Thinking about it further, although the tape on a broken or soon to be broken relationship is viewed as metaphorical it has the propensity to make its presence known in an annoyingly, irritating way. So the question remains is there presently tape put on as a temporary fix on your relationship right now? Here's another question, how long has it been on there?

As I said before, when experiencing a broken relationship and glasses there is in a sense the inability to see clearly even though there have been attempts to try to fix it in the best way one can. Unfortunately, when its not able to be fixed via the aforementioned temporary fix the alternative is getting new glasses thus getting your eyes or in this particular case your heart checked in order to in all intense and purposes see what you're truly deserving of on the quintessential strong, worthwhile relationship eye/heart chart. For it's certainly a tough and frustrating situation indeed to go through as you're in a way doing an oftentimes exhaustive self eye/heart examination so that you'll be able to see clearly line by line in someone else all the quality aspects of a deeply meaningful relationship such as trust, faith, honesty, respect, faith, patience, hope, understanding, communication, commitment, etc.

Let me ask this question to those who have been wearing broken glasses and have constantly been fixing them with tape, how did it feel when you were able to finally wear it without always having to make those annoyingly, irritating adjustments? In other words, how many of you are with your best friend for life and are now clearly seeing the quality aspects of a deeply meaningful relationship mentioned above instead of unfortunate aspects like doubt, being lied to, anger, fear, worry, hatred, confusion, frustration, bitterness, utter contempt, disappointment, etc. Granted, it takes time along with the much needed eye drops of reality in which it puts into perspective the type of guy/girl one hopes to find/meet/encounter someday. What it primarily comes down to is facing the temporary tape fix head on and not avoiding the issue(s) so you won't always feel absolute discomfort.

In retrospect, wearing the right glasses makes all the difference as it helps see what you've been missing out on after your heart has experienced the discomforting blurriness and/or feeling of a bad past relationship. For the most part, when you get your eyes checked in the form of your best buds/gal pals in possibly helping you getting them wide open visually in mental and emotional capacity it's an experience unlike any other. Ultimately, what brings it all together is having the right frames with occasional adjustments that will positively stick with you. Hey, it may take days, months, and/or maybe even years before you inevitably find the frames that will keep you stable in every sense of word but its so worth it.. In the end, it's when you're able to get into a genuinely right frame of heart with a certain special someone in hopes of being able to see with continuous 20/20 vision or better a future that makes you smile.

Saturday, April 14, 2018


Joseph Joubert once said, ~Words are like eyeglasses, they blur everything that they do not make clear.~ If you think about it, life is in a sense like wearing glasses in which any one of us can seemingly have a clear vision, so to speak, when it comes to certain goals one wants to achieve. For its a seemingly thought provoking situation indeed in being able to in all intense and purposes try to clearly see in the distance a better future but at the same time it can turn considerably blurry as well. Why? Essentially, a person starts off with a strong line of sight of where they want to go to the point where if doubt happens it gradually becomes harder to see. What it primarily comes down to is having the determined, clear focus pertaining to each objective in hopes of successfully achieving what one's seeing behind their own prescribed lenses.

As I said before, in life any one of us can seemingly have a clear vision, so to speak, when it comes to certain goals one wants to achieve. Although, there may be an innate clear focus on our hopes, dreams, goals for a number of people it can at times become quite difficult to see or fully focus on because of foreseen, as well as unforeseen circumstances that turns them considerably blurry, in a manner of speaking. In other words, its all about having a completely different perspective in how the way you look at what's in front and all around you with a positive instead of a negative attitude. I think its safe to say the decision to metaphorically put on/wear the quintessential rose colored glasses of positivity can certainly make the difference whereby seeing the potentially complicated situations in life in a totally interesting albeit unique way.

Without a doubt, glasses help bring into focus what a person is struggling or struggles to see and the same can be said in regards to aspects of life such as friendship, career, walk with God, matters of heart involving relationships/love/true love, etc. True, each one of us can most definitely find ourselves being stubbornly blind in not wanting or refusing to see the red flags that can clearly be seen by those around you who care about enough in looking out for your own best interests. Thinking about it further, being someone who unfortunately is shortsighted or farsighted for that matter has in some ways a blurred viewpoint to where they're constantly stumbling/bumping their way into/though life. Hey, you have to set your ego aside and be humble enough in helping you put on the glasses of reality when you're unable to see the truth for yourself.

Let me ask you this question to those who have worn or are wearing glasses, what's do you think is considered the most important aspect of the glasses itself? If you answered picking the right frame you would be correct. You see, the right frame makes all the difference so much so it in a way brings it all together, which is a mindset relating to life too. Of course, picking the right frame is synonymous with life in the context of setting the overall tone. What I mean is we oftentimes try our best in being able to always perfectly frame or should I say having stability that's continually strong as it pertains to our own personal, mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual journey we've individually set forth on. So the question remains, do you believe you have a sense of stability as it pertains to picking the right frame of life?

In retrospect, there are times its hard to make out and clearly see where we're going in life, which is often the case. Of course, even though we may try to avoid the unfortunate scratches on the lenses of life it can't be helped and all we can really do is not let ourselves focus on them or you'll end up being driven insane. In any case, its all about making constant adjustments in order to comfortably see/feel and for the most part it makes a difference. Ultimately, I say to those who are having troubling seeing with their glasses of life they're wearing now it may be blurry, but it will eventually clear up if you continue making focused adjustment that best help you see. In the end, make sure you have the right fit, make those occasional adjustment and see with as much 20/20 vision or better so you won't be able to miss out on seeing/experiencing what life itself is showing you.

Monday, April 02, 2018

My Anchor

A.J. Green once said, ~I've been the same guy since day one. No matter how successful I am in life, I'm going to stay true to myself and stay humble and grounded. I feel like that's where your success comes from. Once you get that big head, it's over. You feel like you can't be stopped. Staying humble is the only way you can be great.~ Let me ask you this question, what and/or who keeps you grounded? For it's a seemingly simple question to answer, but at the same time it can most definitely be a deeply meaningful, thought provoking one as well. Thinking about it further, there's a sense of a positive influence in whoever or whatever keeps you grounded in which your ego and feet are firmly planted on the ground, in a manner of speaking, to the point where your reality is stable, as well as well balance instead of in a unbalanced fantasy world.

If you think about it, your very own gang of best buds/gal pals have the capacity to keep you grounded, especially those who truly have your best interests in mind. Of course, its your inner most circle of friends who have their own unique way of not letting/allowing you to attain a big head and/or become completely full of yourself. Essentially, the type of friend I'm speaking of are the one's who may not show it at times posses a strong moral compass. They are the people who keep you humble, build up your self esteem when it takes a tremendous hit, provide helpful advice on occasion, and will never allow you to conform into someone they know you're not. Hey, even though you and your friend may be complete opposite in the friendship spectrum there is a deep kinship that for the most part can't quite be explained.

Without a doubt, a family member such as a grandparent certainly has the power to keep an individual absolutely grounded. I think its safe to say one the many reasons a grandparent wields that type of unexplained power is their ability to talk to, see and not mention treat you as a grown adult while being treated as if you're still a little kid by everyone else including the parental units. Oftentimes, there is an unmistakably. strong connection/bond between grandchild/grandparents that is considered to be absolutely special and so amazingly remarkable despite the generation gap. The warmth, feistiness. wit, stubborn tenacity, no nonsense attitude, the delicious food/treats, and most of all the sage, impactful wisdom provided are what usually make for a grandparent who has been there, as well as done that.

Colossians 1:23 says, ~If ye continue in the faith grounded and settled, and be not moved away from the hope of the gospel, which ye have heard, and which was preached to every creature which is under heaven, whereof I Paul am made a minister.~ For the question can be ask, how many of you are grounded in the faith of the word of God? You see, each our lives are constantly tested by the trials and tribulations in regards to one's daily walk with our Lord Jesus Christ. However, its the effort we make in continually meditating in God's word and through fervent prayer no matter what involving the good and/or bad circumstances pertaining to the life we live by. Hey, we may not be perfect Christians by any stretch of the imagination and although we aren't we strive to firmly stand, trust, as well as believe in the strong, solid foundation of God's love.

Actor/Rapper LL Cool J said, ~When adversity strikes, that's when you have to be the most calm. Take a step back, stay strong, stay grounded, and press on.~ In retrospect, a person can be tossed around within the metaphorical waves of life trying to not be flipped out of and/or destroyed in one's ship, so to speak. Granted, there will be/are moments where life's trials and tribulations will figuratively and literally rock the boat causing us to hold on for dear life. Yet, it's how you handle the situation and who/what you look to during/after the situation(s) in question that determines how steady of a boat each one of us are riding in. In the end, when the waves of life toss your around you can positively say pointing with utmost confidence HE/he/she/that is my anchor and helps keep/has kept me personally, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually afloat.

Tuesday, March 27, 2018

A Heavy Heart

Frederick Lanz once said, ~Fears are just conditioning. They don't exist. They are something that we are taught by people who are afraid or seek to make us afraid. It is time to unload the baggage.~ If you think about it, when it comes to matters of the heart pertaining to a past relationship or relationships a person in some cases brings along their own set of baggage associated with it. Yet, what's an absolute unknown is the sheer size, volume, and/or scope of what's in all intense and purposes packed inside. For it can most definitely be a tremendous weight to be constantly carrying around, so to speak, as it involves issues of heartbreak one has a tendency to in a sense pack away and never really open any more to truly experience much needed closure.

Without a doubt, you can certainly have a somewhat keen inclination as to whether or not a guy/girl you're potentially interested in has some kind of baggage they're carrying around. Granted, it may not be hidden and not seen right away until the right amount of time has passed to carefully unload them one by one, in a manner of speaking. The question is though, when is the right amount of time exactly? In any case, it's a totally natural instinct indeed to be cautious as you're gradually letting/allowing yourself to become unguarded/vulnerable and not to mention safe in a personal, mental, emotional, as well as spiritual kind of way as you're willingly unpackinging what's been quite possibly deemed a mess, which is an absolutely scary feeling for anyone to experience.

As I said before,you can certainly have a somewhat keen inclination as to whether or not a guy/girl you're potentially interested in has some kind of baggage they're carrying around. Oftentimes, its seen clear as day upon meeting him/her so much so their baggage is dumped on and/or in front of you whereby leaving you in an incredibly awkward situation. Anger, frustration, confusion, fear, doubt, worry, sadness, depression, guilt, bitterness, disappointment, contempt, betrayal, etc. are what each individual forms of baggage represent and have been dumped out either one by one or all at once. Of course, its how that person reacts and handles the seemingly overwhelming mess that determines if he/she actually sticks around to help clean up or walks ways completely.

Let me ask you this question to those living the single life and dealing with their own set of personal baggage they've been carrying around. How long have you been carrying it? Here's another question for you. Do you want to finally unpack and be done with it to get the closure you're in need of? Thinking about it further, it's not so much meeting someone who will help carry the painful burden of the baggage itself as its more about being able to have a deep understanding of each one of them that's been stuffed tightly away in order to try to forget and not deal with any longer. Easier said than done. What it primarily comes down to is having a guy/girl who'll want to stay in order to be able to patiently sort through an assortment of weirdly strange, complicated and complex issues.

Wayne L. Misner said, ~Keeping baggage from the past will leave no room for happiness in the future.~ In retrospect, you will never exactly know the magnitude of past relationship issues stuffed tightly away in the baggage(s) of a certain someone of interest. Granted, the solution doesn't always mean trying help fix whatever is wrong. You see, even though the guy/girl in question may not solve all the issues they'll hopefully handle them with as much gentle care, respect, tact, and dignity to where he/she becomes one's quintessential baggage handler of sorts. In the end, to those living the single life with a heavy heart may you one day find true happiness with your future best friend for life who'll somehow lighten the load of past issues to where you have nothing left to carry except a smile on your face and in your heart.

Sunday, March 25, 2018

2 Words 8 Letters

Damon Lindelof once said, ~I think that, at the end of the day, I'm drawn to a certain level of ambiguous storytelling that requires hard thought and work in the same way that the 'New York Times' crossword puzzle does: Sometimes you just want to put it down or throw it out the window, but there's a real rewarding sense if you feel like you've cracked it.~ Without a doubt, there is in a sense similarities between matters of the heart and a crossword puzzle to the point where both have the ability in have you trying to figure out and solving any clues provided. For it can most definitely be a thought provoking and mentally challenging situation indeed knowing there is the potential for wrong answers before you truly end up with the right one that somehow brings it altogether.

Let me ask this question to those who enjoy doing crossword puzzles, was there anything that it has taught you in attempting to complete it in its entirety? I think its safe to say what it can certainly teach you is what you think is probably right is in actuality totally wrong. In other words, being so certain you have the right answer only to discover it doesn't fit/match what's relating to the other horizontal and/or vertical clues. What I'm trying to say is all too often a person can achieve premature success then failure of a connection that wasn't actually there. Hey, every person has mistakenly interpreted the verbal/physical clues to where the answers of true happiness easily fit into every empty block of the metaphorical worthwhile relationship crossword puzzle that is the human heart.

If you think about it, the clues each of us are given can at times be frustrating to figure out and the same can be said for a forever best friend as well. Oftentimes, its not difficult to figure out what the answers are; but there are times where it will get so confusing it becomes absolutely frustrating. Essentially this best describes the struggle in figuring out our own thoughts, feelings, and/or emotions as it relates to looking for any sort of clues within what is being said/done by that certain someone of interest. Thinking about it further, its during one's mental and emotional struggle the blocks within the aforementioned metaphorical crossword puzzle representing one's heart are constantly being filled in then erased because of the all out indecisively, insane inner turmoil of figuring out the right answer.

For the question can be asked to those who have spent time doing crossword puzzle, how many times have you constantly erased and wrote an answer that isn't quite falling into place? As I said before, it gets considerably confusing and frustrating as it to pertains to figuring out our own thoughts, feelings, and emotions. True, there are moments where we find ourselves constantly erasing, so speak, the answers we think are right in the horizontal/vertical crossword grids of your heart that it by all intense and purposes is torn apart. What it primarily comes down to is being able to stop and take a step back to rethink, as well as relax in order to look at it with a clear mind/heart from a new approach, which is how it should when living the single life as it pertains to the dating scene.

Craig Finn said. ~There's this moment sometimes, when you do a crossword puzzle and you have the one really long word. And once you get that, the whole thing kind of comes into focus.~ In retrospect, there a those who are incredibly luck enough to have figured out the answers to the entire crossword puzzle grid representing their heart. Trust, faith, honesty, hope, respect, understanding, patience, communication, commitment, etc. have been correctly filled vertically and horizontally to where it intersects perfectly with each aspect of a strong, worthwhile relationship. Of course, those who are still working on and figuring out their own heart crossword puzzle like myself it's just a matter of patience and taking a step back for a fresh take on it from a completely different perspective. In the end, I leave you with this clue of 2 words 8 letters as it's something people either believe it does exist while other simply don't believe it exists at all.

Monday, March 19, 2018

Easy At Goodbyes

Someone once said. ~It is better to let someone walk away from you than walk all over you. You don't deserve to be a doormat. Let go of those who hurt you, and make room for those who actually deserve you and want to treat you well.~ If you think about it, when a person experiences constant relationship heartbreak it can most definitely get or has come to the point where walking away is considered to be the easy choice. For it's not that difficult of a decision to make knowing how much you've given and a tremendous amount has been literally, as well as figuratively taken from you while living the single life pertaining to the dating scene. Essentially, the unfortunate experiences of bad past relationships can certainly lead or has left one hardened in such a way you as an individual ends up becoming a different person who doesn't care at all.

Without a doubt, to be the type of person who simply shrugs off a break up and has the ability to completely walk away from any personal, mental, along with emotional attachments reveals pain that runs so deep it leave you feeling absolutely nothing. Granted, it may have not been easy in the beginning as you're dealing with the thoughts/feelings/emotions so complex, contradictive, and conflicted it drains you in every sense of the word. In other words, the interior scars can plainly be seen on the surface or just below it by those around you. Yet, as you move on it becomes a lot less complex, contradicting and conflicting to becoming more cynically jaded within your own heart. Essentially, the jaded cynicism is in some way like a metaphorical light switch that's never really been switched off for quite some time because he/she/you didn't see a point in ever switching it back on.

As I said before, the decision to walk away from a relationship isn't a difficult one to make for any individual who is just plain fed up with getting hurt as it pertains to matters of the heart involving love/true love. I think its safe to say its an unfortunate sad state of affairs indeed when you've found/are finding yourself constantly picking up the pieces of your broken heart, so to speak, leading you to reach a moment where walking away is deemed totally normal as if it were considered to be a rapid reflex response. Women, more of than not, know this seemingly all too well as they've emotionally switched themselves off after reaching their quintessential BS limit so much so it leaves them emotionally and mentally constipated. Of course, the same can be said for some guys too who even though share somewhat similar situations they didn't really care all that much to begin with I'm sorry to say.

Let me ask you this question to those who have recently walked away in the past or recently from a incredibly toxic relationship, how long did it take to part ways knowing it was the best decision you've made knowing there's someone out there somewhere who you're far more deserving of? True, for a number of people it took a considerable amount of soul searching and not to mention supportive help from one's best buds/gal pals to leave whereas for others they were gone like a fart in the wind. Hey, you got to have perspective when it comes to your own needs and you have every right to be selfish sometimes in wanting true happiness as long as you don't overly obsess over it. What it primarily comes down to is having an innate inner strength and having the determination in wanting to be happy inside and out instead of tirelessly faking it for some many years on both accounts.

In retrospect, don't ever become a person who checks out of a strong worthwhile relationship because you're actually being treated with respect. A far cry from how you've been usually treated in your past relationships that had you feeling the urge to bail immediately. Why? If I fair to guess its an unfamiliar and uncomfortable feeling of vulnerability not felt in a long time to where the inability to process or even deal with a guy/girl showing the true meaning/qualities of a loving relationship is mind boggling. You see, that feeling shows you actually care. Oftentimes, the knee jerk reaction is to either attack or make fun of him/her for actually being a genuinely, caring guy/girl who is patient and taking the time to allow their/your heavily guarded inner walls to come down. In the end, to my fellow single peeps I hope there comes a point in life where you are easy at goodbyes as you finally say farewell to a past filled with heartbreak and move forward to a future shared with your future best friend for life.